Amber, Oh Amber: Too Far in the Name of Feminism?

We fight to be three dimensional by two dimensional methods.

It looks like Amber Rose is my first guest on The Stoop. . . So, Amber broke the internet with her picture last night showing her kitty, her pocketbook, or missy — and people are outraged. Instagram felt the need to take it down but, Amber is so popular, and the picture was so polarizing, it was shared so many times regardless if folks loved it or hated it.

Did she, does she go too far?

For those who might not know who Amber Rose is, here is some background. Amber Rose is a former stripper. She used to be in a relationship with Kanye West and also the former wife of Wiz Khalifa with whom she has a beautiful, intelligent, artistic son — Sebastian. Amber started the Slut Walk in the name of feminism. The idea is to take back the term to empower women and challenge both men and women on how women are treated in society. Women who participated in the Slut Walk would wear provocative clothing, holding up signs with themes of consent, rape, assault, and the death of patriarchy (idk, I wanted to add that last one). However, people are very opinionated of the topics and how she chooses to get her point across.

So to answer the question. . . No! Not to me anyway. I just went on a retreat with a group of about 80 women that ranged in age and walks of life. There were high school freshmen, college freshmen, mothers, executives, and some women who are still trying to find their footing in the world. An ongoing joke was #AsAFeminist was created following a workshop that was facilitated around the material of Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist (highly suggested read — I only read the introduction but it is very thought provoking). What it all boils down to is: Feminism doesn’t look or behave a particular way. I can call myself a feminist and still do whatever I want as long as it doesn’t take away another woman’s right to do whatever she wants. We get so caught up on these made up definitions and then hold others to a personal standard that has nothing to do with them. I saw comments on social media criticizing Amber because she is a mother, a woman and whatever else. Amber is not the first and she won’t be the last. When Beyoncé announced to the world she was a feminist after her BEYONCE album, folks were in an uproar too. Saying “as a mother, you should. . .” “as a wife she should. . .” blah blah blah. . .

We as women set the bar so low in some cases and very high in others. Why is it okay for women to want to be bosses but can’t be sluts? If she wants to be a slut, let sis be a slut! What is a slut, anyway? A woman who sleeps with a lot of people? What is a lot? What difference does it make? What are the consequences of being a slut? Not being wifed? Why is wife the highest level of woman in this society? What if she does want to get married? Doesn’t want to have to children? We fight to be 3 dimensional by two dimensional means/methods.

At the end of the day, we are putting too much emphasis on what celebrities are doing. Amber wants to speak for the voiceless. But apparently those who have voices and those who uses their voice to disagree with her, takes away what she wants to accomplish. If you find yourself disagreeing with her, fine. But don’t in turn, silence her because she is not saying things you would say or doing things that you wouldn’t do. We have to learn to how to disagree and shame each other because of our differences.

Do yo thang SIS (that’s to all the women, not just Amber)! We’ll link next time on The Stoop!

Welcome to The Stoop

Yes, I Christopher Columbused the calendar!

Here’s what to expect. . .

Everything and Nothing! With my fingers in charge of this keyboard and my thoughts flowing through my head, anything goes. This blog is a source of therapy for me. Sometimes things are going to be extremely personal, and other things are going to be light as a feather. Either way it is going to be well thought out and candid. I would love to have your input so this is not going to be a one way dialogue. So please SPEAK YO MIND AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW! But seriously, the more YOU engage the more material I’ll have to share. Trust me this is only the beginning. I haven’t decided how often I’ll post but hopefully this will hold you over until next time…

About the Author

Name: I go by many names, but for the purpose of this blog, I’m simply SCOTTY. Where did I get my name? Well there used to be this guy I was seeing back in 2009 and his middle name was Scott. Also at the time I thought it was cool for chicks who had non-gender specific names. Also it was the summer of ’09 — in HARLEM (everyone knows, Harlem is different  during the summer months). So I tried to get my group of girlfriends to come up with nicknames or pseudonyms if you will, because when we used to hit the streets — minding our own business, we would get approached by dudes who would introduce themselves by their own nicknames. So I refused to tell them my real name and told my girls that I wasn’t going to respond to my real name outside. I was not trying to get caught out there. . . My friends, being as understanding as they are, Scotty was born and to this day, my friends don’t even know how to introduce me to their friends. I’ve even tried to let go of Scotty but I don’t think it’s going anywhere any time soon.

Birthday/Sign: So,  I was born on the most special day on the calendar. Which means, YES I’m a Virgo! And if you haven’t guessed it already, the Queen and I share the same bday: 9. . . 4. . . 8. . . 9. Trust me, it’s a blessing & a curse. On social media these days, I feel completely ignored on what used to be my most favorite day of the year! To compensate for it, I decided to also claim and occupy 2 other dates on the calendar. YES, I Christopher Columbused the calendar. What are those dates you might ask? March 4th and whatever date Labor Day falls on. Which brings us to a grand total of 3 birthdays!! Why March 4th? I’m glad you asked! Technically, its my half birthday. What’s a half birthday? A half birthday is 6 months before/after your whole birthday (notice how I didn’t say actual birthday. . . because that is my actual birthday and I dare anyone to tell me otherwise!). My mom acknowledges this date so it is REAL! So are unicorns, I might add. . . Plus, you were celebrated before your birthdate at your baby shower, so now that you’re out the womb, you have to wait a whole 12 months before they celebrate you again?! Why settle when you can have it all!! I encourage Everyone to have half birthdays. . . So why Labor Day? If you check your calendars, September 4, 1989 falls on the first Monday of the month. . . Labor Day! So Yes, that’s my birthday too! Take that Beyoncé!

Misc: I love music, I mean who doesn’t? My favorite color is Yellow. My favorite place to be is the beach. My favorite season is SUMMER. I’m a spiritual person and don’t conform to any particular organized religion. I’m mostly introverted these days, which is why I’ve started writing. I’m in the middle of a major transition in my life and I would go into details about that later on but we have time to get to know each other during the course of this exchange.

I hope you got a good gist of who I am and a glimpse of my personality. I’ll see you the next time we meet, on The Stoop!