Amber, Oh Amber: Too Far in the Name of Feminism?

We fight to be three dimensional by two dimensional methods.


It looks like Amber Rose is my first guest on The Stoop. . . So, Amber broke the internet with her picture last night showing her kitty, her pocketbook, or missy — and people are outraged. Instagram felt the need to take it down but, Amber is so popular, and the picture was so polarizing, it was shared so many times regardless if folks loved it or hated it.

Did she, does she go too far?

For those who might not know who Amber Rose is, here is some background. Amber Rose is a former stripper. She used to be in a relationship with Kanye West and also the former wife of Wiz Khalifa with whom she has a beautiful, intelligent, artistic son — Sebastian. Amber started the Slut Walk in the name of feminism. The idea is to take back the term to empower women and challenge both men and women on how women are treated in society. Women who participated in the Slut Walk would wear provocative clothing, holding up signs with themes of consent, rape, assault, and the death of patriarchy (idk, I wanted to add that last one). However, people are very opinionated of the topics and how she chooses to get her point across.

So to answer the question. . . No! Not to me anyway. I just went on a retreat with a group of about 80 women that ranged in age and walks of life. There were high school freshmen, college freshmen, mothers, executives, and some women who are still trying to find their footing in the world. An ongoing joke was #AsAFeminist was created following a workshop that was facilitated around the material of Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist (highly suggested read — I only read the introduction but it is very thought provoking). What it all boils down to is: Feminism doesn’t look or behave a particular way. I can call myself a feminist and still do whatever I want as long as it doesn’t take away another woman’s right to do whatever she wants. We get so caught up on these made up definitions and then hold others to a personal standard that has nothing to do with them. I saw comments on social media criticizing Amber because she is a mother, a woman and whatever else. Amber is not the first and she won’t be the last. When Beyoncé announced to the world she was a feminist after her BEYONCE album, folks were in an uproar too. Saying “as a mother, you should. . .” “as a wife she should. . .” blah blah blah. . .

We as women set the bar so low in some cases and very high in others. Why is it okay for women to want to be bosses but can’t be sluts? If she wants to be a slut, let sis be a slut! What is a slut, anyway? A woman who sleeps with a lot of people? What is a lot? What difference does it make? What are the consequences of being a slut? Not being wifed? Why is wife the highest level of woman in this society? What if she does want to get married? Doesn’t want to have to children? We fight to be 3 dimensional by two dimensional means/methods.

At the end of the day, we are putting too much emphasis on what celebrities are doing. Amber wants to speak for the voiceless. But apparently those who have voices and those who uses their voice to disagree with her, takes away what she wants to accomplish. If you find yourself disagreeing with her, fine. But don’t in turn, silence her because she is not saying things you would say or doing things that you wouldn’t do. We have to learn to how to disagree and shame each other because of our differences.

Do yo thang SIS (that’s to all the women, not just Amber)! We’ll link next time on The Stoop!